God Cares For You

My mom told me recently about a lady she worked with long ago who was having troubles in life. My mom encouraged her to talk with God about it. But the lady sadly said, "Oh, God doesn't have time for things like this."

Sweet friend. 

Can I encourage you today that God most certainly has time for you? 

If we limit the Creator of time to our standards then what kind of God do we serve? He is, in fact, able to stop time if need be.... "So the sun stood still, and the moon stopped, till the nation avenged itself on its enemies, as it is written in the Book of Jashar. The sun stopped in the middle of the sky and delayed going down about a full day." Joshua 10:13

Nothing is too much for our God. When mountains tower before us and our enemy is steady on our heels and darkness seems to swallow us up, He is walking right beside us. He is going through the fire, WITH us. In Matthew 1:23 Immanuel is a name given to Jesus. Saying, "...they will call him Immanuel, which means 'God is with us." God is never too far or unconcerned with our needs and desires. 1 John 5:14 says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us."

He hears us.

I know this personally to be true. I may have told this before but it was such a pivotal moment in my life it's worth sharing again....and again! One Sunday morning I walked into church with a heart of stone. It was so cold and clenched but I knew I wanted and needed to experience God's presence. I wanted to have a heart of flesh....one of compassion, empathy and concern. So, I prayed a silent prayer. "God, please turn my heart of stone to a heart of flesh" My soul was instantly flooded with the presence of God. The flood gate had been opened and my heart felt alive. It was nothing short of miraculous.

God heard me!!

So, today, as you are facing a battle where you fear the Lord isn't concerned or has more important things to do, let me remind you that the creator of all knows how many hairs you have on your head. If he knows details like that then I'm confident in saying He knows your needs before you even ask....(Matthew 6:8 "Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him." 

So, ask Him. Talk to Him. Pour your heart out before Him. He cares so madly and deeply for you!

Out Upon the Waters

Not long ago my amazing SIL was singing Oceans in church. I remember exactly the first time I heard that song. My heart cried out those words with all its might. I desperately wanted to walk upon the waters. I wanted more than anything to trust God to take me down a path no matter how frightful or narrow.

He heard me and He took me up on it. We began fostering around that time and our path was definitely out of the ordinary. There is no doubt it has been unsteady at times. God has grown my knowledge of Him and His provision for my life over the last 3 years and I've experienced Him in ways I never knew existed. My need for Him is greater than I ever knew and His precious grace has been more present than I thought possible.

But, as I stood in church listening to those words again I thought, "God, I don't really want to walk upon the waters right now." Deep down I didn't mean that. But, some days I'm tired. Some days I feel like these waters aren't exactly what I had in mind. Some days I just want life to be easy and I want to close out the world and live in a happy ignorant bubble. Some days I really want to pretend there aren't orphans needing a home or a meal needs to be sent to someone because of a recent death or the possibility of my husband not coming home to us. I want to close my eyes to sickness, starving people and financial difficulty. Some days it's almost too much to bare.

But, this world is full of pain and loss and full of disasters.

I genuinely don't want the easy or comfortable life....the complacent life. There are moments I think I do but honestly, I know that life isn't where God called me to be. God called me out of the darkness and into His glorious light. He called me to a path of trust IN HIM and even trusting Him with my next step even if I cannot see and no matter the cost.

God is more concerned with our heart, with our salvation and our righteousness than He is our comfort. Every deep aching moment I have encountered has produced growth in me. It produced more love for the One who died for me. More dependence on the One who has infinite wisdom and the One who wants more for me than I want for myself.

This world is passing away and we're all seeking the comforts of this world. We chase things that will never amount to anything. We are led away with the deception that this world can provide something only our Savior can and we're left empty; only to start chasing something else that still never satisfies our longings.

What I've learned is when I'm walking on the waters, when I'm being led places I would not choose on my own, when I trust God to keep my eyes above the circumstances of life, it is there my eyes are on His kingdom and His righteousness and I am filled to overflowing. It is there I am satisfied.

I'm so grateful God still pursues me and still draws me out even on those days I want to stay in my boat. I'm thankful He heard my heart years ago when I cried out, "I want to walk upon the waters."

He heard me and He continues to lead me out no matter the storm. And it is there I am safe.

A New Adventure

Five glorious years ago God called our family to homeschool. It is a calling. Not something I  excitedly nor joyfully accepted. But, accepted it I did.

It is.....challenging to say the least. It is torture some days and other days it's full of delightful chaos.

This year has been somewhat eventful. After two adoptions and welcoming another teenager into our home, I felt a bit strained and depleted. As I was mentally preparing to homeschool my soon-to-be middleschooler I found myself lacking desire. I felt stuck and nothing in me was being prompted to move forward.

I prayed.

And prayed.

And prayed some more.

After some time of prayer and discussion, Greg and I decided to go a different route with Jada this coming year. We chose private school.

I felt sad but relieved. All the while wondering if this was God's guidance or a selfish mom who was exhausted. As days went on I felt peace and excitement for the coming year and I felt eager to continue teaching Ella, my upcoming 2nd grader, at home.

Tomorrow is the first day of this unexpected change. I honestly thought I would personally graduate my youngest three girls from high school. But, this life is full of challenges, road blocks, turns and down hill slopes. And, because we know life is full of the unexpected I want more than anything for all my girls to be equipped with the knowledge of how to deal with the distractions and disappointments in life. What better way than through scripture? So, as I prepare to send my beautiful, bubbly, blonde out on a new adventure tomorrow without me,  I couldn't help but write a deeply heartfelt prayer for her.  This prayer is full of my favorite scriptures. Ones I often pray for my family, friends and most definitely myself.

To my precious girl, Jada, as you venture off tomorrow I want you to know I'm covering you in prayer and know you never walk alone.

Dear Father God, 

Tomorrow my first born, Jada Grace, is off to middle school. I'm grateful you love her more than I ever will and You know and want the absolute best for her. I thank You for your sovereign hand in her life and I trust You as you guide her through her most joyful days and also her darkest days.

Lord, I ask that YOU give her "knowledge and understanding of all kinds of literature and learning" Daniel 1:17 and give her "wisdom and understanding in every matter" Daniel 1:20. I pray from the depth of my soul for Jada to love YOU and to "praise You for you are powerful and contain infinite wisdom. I ask that you graciously and generously give her wisdom, knowledge and discernment. Please reveal to her deep and hidden things" Daniel 2:20-23. 

Allow her to understand that the "fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom and knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgement" Proverbs 9:10. 

My desire is for her to grasp what truly matters in life and that she will give no time to things that are wasting away. "Create in her a pure heart and renew a steadfast spirit within her" Psalm 51:10. Give her the ability and desire to "be kind and compassionate to others, forgiving them just as in Christ You forgave her" Ephesians 4:32. "Teach her knowledge and good judgement as she trust in Your commands" Psalm 119:66. "Turn her heart toward Your statues and not to selfish gain" Psalm 119:36. Establish within her a desire to be Christ-like. Possessing the fruit of the Spirit. Fill her to overflowing with Your "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control" Galatians 5:22.

I desperately desire for her to "be like the tree planted by water. It's roots go down into a stream. It will not be afraid of the heat of the summer. Its leaves will turn green and it will not be anxious during droughts. It will not stop producing fruit" Jeremiah 17:8. I pray she will "endure through the testing of her faith so she will be mature and complete and not lacking anything" James 1:4. Strengthen her to "walk in the Spirit" Galatians 5:16. Enable  her to "lovingly speak truth" Ephesians 4:15. I humbly ask for you to instill in her the knowledge that "she is not competent in herself but her competence comes from You" 2 Corinthians 3:5.

Thank You for what You are going to do in the life of my girl. Thank You for walking with her and being with her when I cannot. Thank You that Your Spirit leads her and corrects her and I ask that You pursue her relentlessly even on the days she's running from You. Open her eyes to see how beautiful, loving, forgiving and faithful You are. You are so good and I will forever praise Your name!

Love, 
A mom who is letting her little girl go out from under her wings.

Live in the Present

Some days I sit and daydream about dropping my kids off at the local public school.....and by drop them off I mean do a drive by..they can just jump out as I pull through. But, I know that would be far too easy for me. I know that's not really what our family is called to do. 

And then there are other days, like today, that are full of so much peace and we accomplish so much learning and not just from academic books. Today, my little one picked me flowers and read to me and it reminded me that I taught her to read!!!! I still can't believe I did that!! And, my 11 year old labeled and diagrammed sentences perfectly! It made my heart proud! God showed me she really is learning!! And out of the blue she asked if she could start reading one of my most treasured books, "Kisses From Katie."

While digging through my bookshelf trying to find it I was thinking how that book is one of 3 that altered the course of my life over the past few years. I found myself teary eyed praying God would use it to create a deep desire and passion in her heart for others. That He will use it to draw her to Him like it did me.

These are simple yet much needed reminders to live in the present and to know God is at work even when we don't feel Him or see Him.

He.is.so.good!!

Slow Fade

I sometimes look at people and hear their stories and sometimes it's easy to judge but most of the time I wonder if they ever wake up and wonder how they got where they are.

I love the song by Casting Crowns, Slow Fade. It says,

"It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day"

I think we're all one bad decision away from possibly a lifetime of heartache, misery and loss. Most decisions aren't made on a whim......it's a process of compromising what we know to be truth for a lie. To believe and give into the longing of things that will not truly satisfy us in the end.

My heart aches for these people. To know they truly might not have ever guessed they would be wearing the shoes they walk in and wishing so desperately for it all to be just a bad dream.

I'm so thankful for Jesus. I'm so thankful we are never, NEVER too far from His hand.

Psalm 139:7-10 says, "Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

I picture the depths of the earth overcome with darkness and without a glimmer of hope and all the desperate, heart wrenching pain of being alone. Yet, God is there!!! He is there in the shadows of night. He is there in the haunting hours and when the sun never seems to rise.

He IS there!!
He is HERE!!

I'm so thankful He calls us out to be more, to choose better and to forgive when we fall down. I'm so thankful we no longer have to live in the darkness because He calls us into His light!

Shadow of the Almighty

"Whoever dwells in the shadow of the Most High will rest in the presence of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

This life......it's so many things. It's hard for sure. It's fragile, confusing, overwhelming and full of struggles and loss.

It is short...."Everyone is but a breath, even those who seem secure."
(Psalm 39:5).

Most days I look around and see the pain crowding out the good but I strive to find the good and even when my days are bleak and uncertain I find myself humbled that I can rest in the comfort of my Savior. He is good even when we don't see it. Even when we don't feel it. Even when our dreams and plans come to a screeching halt and life takes a turn we did not plan.

I've been there..... loss that seemed almost unbearable at the time. Pain that drowned out all the good in my life. Uncertainty that made me question purpose.

But, God.....He was my shelter, He was my comfort, He was my rock...my only true foundation. He is good when there is nothing else good in the world. He is here when we seem alone. He is truth in the middle of deception. He is love when we are surrounded by hate. He is our anchor when we are tossed among the stormy waves.

Amazed and humbled are poor choices of words to describe how my heart is in awe of Him.

I love these lyrics by Kari Jobe:

"When I walk through deep waters

I know that you will be with me.

When I'm standing in the fire

I will not be overcome.

Through the valley of the shadow

Oh, I will not fear.

I am not alone

I am not alone

You will go before me

You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow

I see your light is breaking through

The dark night will not over take me

I am pressing into You

Lord you fight my every battle

And I will not fear

Some days it feels life's troubles will overtake me. Some days I feel the dark in this life will consume me but, God's light always, always, always has broken through. He IS faithful and He IS good.

Today I'm clinging to Him and standing in the gap for so many who are walking through the dark trying to pick up the pieces of their broken dreams. 

Praying for you to "rest in the shadow of the Almighty" today friends.

I'll love you forever

A little less than a year ago, on a warm rainy night, these two very different sisters walked into my living room. They were quiet....at the time. After dinner and bath they settled down to watch cartoons before bedtime.

That night seems almost like yesterday but so long ago all at the same time.

This last year has brought a multitude of giggles, hugs, kisses, I love yous,  and memories that will forever be etched into my heart. There have also been countless tears and character building moments for all of us. It's tested our levels of love and compassion but most importantly, it has driven me to the foot of the cross.

To say this last year has been difficult is an understatement. It has been the most eye-opening and soul stirring year of my life. God has proven to be my strength and has carried me when the ground gave way to the pressures of life. He has been the only constant and the most faithful provider. The provider of love, joy and contentment. He has given peace even when I haven't understood my surroundings and He's provided His wisdom when I was at loss on what to say, how to react and how to show love when my own heart was barren. His Word has truly been a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. He has given the most amazing God fearing women to cover me in prayer when all I wanted to do was crawl in bed and cry.

This year has taught me complete surrender. Surrendering the hopes and dreams I've held tight to for years.

Surrendering it all for His best.

Those beautiful girls who stole my heart 344 days ago left like the wind today. I will never be the same. My emotions have been unexplainable most days but today I'm empty. I feel like a part of me is lost and will never return. The decision we made to let those little hearts twirl out of our home was one of complete exhaustion. One that was thoroughly burdensome and brought sleepless nights and a tear stained pillow. But, to know God holds them and will carry them through the years to come and to trust that He loves them more than I do and cares deeply for their path has steadied my heart.

I don't know, really, if this was God's plan or our lack of dependence on Him but, either way, I'm handing Him our mess and asking Him to create something beautiful when all I see is brokenness and failure.

I know He will.

Isaiah 43:19 says, "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am      making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."

I know something new will spring up in the lives of those sweet little ones.

And my prayer for them is Psalms 16:11 "Make known to them the path of life; fill them with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand."

God is good. And I will hold onto that truth even when what I see is not good.

I've poured my heart out before the Lord this last year asking for strength to get through the hard days. I'm now asking God for strength to let go. Let go and let Him have His way in the lives of those girls and in the lives of our family.

And that is where my trust remains.

I'll love you forever sweet girls!!