That place of discouragement

I hate being in that place where my confidence is lost and mounds of stuff weigh heavy on my mind and on my to-do list. And then there's all those things that are being thrown at me that I can't do.....or so satan wants me to believe I can't do.

Today God gave me such a precious gift... the gift of rediscovered confidence. He also allowed me to have a few minutes with an amazing women who spoke such encouragement and hope into my current struggles. She assured me what I'm going through is normal and it's just the season of my life right now with all I have going on. She's so precious. I know God provided those few minutes at just the right time! He knew I was in a place of need and He provided!

He's always providing! I'm endlessly amazed by how He's always on time!

For a while now I've questioned everything I do. Day in and day out. I was getting so worn down I just wanted someone to come alongside me and tell me every decision that needed to be made. I almost felt paralyzed and completely unable to make a wise decision. My sweet husband got all the tears last night.... after I was reading a book trying to figure out the best curriculum for Jada next year....poor, poor Greg. He's such a sweet and wise man. He just listened and then prayed for me!

My conversation or should I say breakdown went as follows.....

"I'm tired... (and the tears came) of repeating myself to the girls, not being organized, of the lack of structure I'm displaying in my home. See, there's this women in my mind of WHO I want to be and HOW I want to be but I'm just not her. I feel like a failure"

Expectations..... do you have them? Do you meet them?

I realize I struggle with unrealistic expectations so at the end of the day when I didn't accomplish what I anticipated I felt like a failure.

I didn't bother going over the good I did that day. The love I showed the girls, or the meals I prepared, the princess stories I read or anything else motherly or family oriented.

So today I changed it. I put my foot down. I can do this!! I can be the mother I need to be, the wife I need to be, the friend I need to be and the child of the King I was created to be!

I laid some ground rules for the girls and yep, I had to enforce them a few times already. It wasn't pretty but it made me feel better. I have a plan!

Parenting is not easy. Being a homeschool parent is definitely not easy. But, I was called to this so I have to pick up my cross and fight this battle that I was created to face so I will come through with VICTORY!!

So thankful my precious Jesus provided exactly what I needed today. He is worth more to me than my words could ever express!

"I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13.