Silence

Silence is sometimes welcome.... like this morning while I was reading and before the girls got up. It was so nice to have no TV, no noise except me turning the page or sipping my coffee.

Silence is not welcome, however, when your spouse isn't communicating like you want or you're waiting on an important phone call and your phone won't ring....

Or, when you're praying and searching for direction and God seems silent.....

Then silence becomes frustrating and confusing.

Greg and I have been praying and seeking God and we were all excited about starting out with adoption. We have talked about this for more than 10 years so we started making preparations...... finishing the attic, thinking of fundraiser ideas, contacting adoption agencies and praying! We were all giddy with excitement....let me back up...I was all giddy. Greg doesn't get giddy....it just isn't his personality! Ha!

But then... we weren't clear on what route to go. International, domestic, DSS? And Greg and I are usually very unified on big decisions and most little ones too so for us to both feel no direction all of a sudden we aren't sure what to think.

Have we misunderstood God? Maybe we aren't suppose to adopt?

Is God trying to teach us patience before we take that step?

Is God working and just using this time preparing us in prayer and seeking Him?

And I also start questioning my life...."what sin do I have that is unconfessed? Oh Lord, search me and reveal anything unpleasing to you!" Or I think, "Maybe I'm not praying right or really seeking Him like I should."

I'm really not sure what the answer is. But, I do know His plan is perfect so whatever it is I do not want to go in a direction He isn't leading. 

So, we will continue to seek Him and His leading.....wanting so much for Him to reveal to us the plan He has mapped out for our family. I trust He will at the most perfect time because He is so wonderful like that!!

Jeremiah 14:22 "Do any of the worthless idols of the nations bring rain? Do the skies themselves send down showers? No, it is you, LORD our God. Therefore our hope is in you, for you are the one who does all this."

Psalm 30:7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you."

So, If any of you find a small window of time to fit us in to your prayer time I would be so grateful! We need direction and clarity....wisdom and understanding!! I'm certain God will come through one way or the other.....