Part 1: Adoption

I had a hard time naming this post. I have all these thoughts in my head and I'm not sure I can get them out and on paper where they will all make sense. I'm going to put this in a two part post to sort it all out.

Let's go back 10 years ago. There was this young couple who fell in love and almost within the blink of an eye already said, "I do". They were so smitten and in love. They talked about the future.... well, she talked. He mainly listened and agreed. They talked about adopting one day. They wanted their own kids too but they wanted to open their hearts to someone else in need. They started their own family fairly soon and with a little heartache followed by excitement their sweet little bundle of joy was born. What a blessing she turned out to be!

A couple years went by and they wanted to expand their family.With little effort they found they were expecting a little boy! But at just 26 1/2 weeks trouble struck. A sweet 13.1 ounce bundle of blue was born. He was sick. So very fragile. He only stayed with us 4 days. I guess you all know by now this sweet, young couple so in love was Greg and me! ha!

God provided healing. He was faithful and got us through one of the darkest moments of our life.

Again, a couple years later they found themselves expecting another girl!! And of course if you've read any previous blogs you know some of the issues we faced with that pregnancy. We were told any future pregnancy would end up with me on bedrest for most of my pregnancy.

How would that be possible with 2 little kids? Wouldn't that be selfish of me? So, we decided for a tubal ligation.

I was heartbroken. I secretly prayed God would allow me to get pregnant with my tubes tied.

It didn't happen.

And then I was comfortable. We don't have abundance of things by any means, but we were content. We were getting debt paid off. My girls were getting more and more independent.  I loved my life! The thought of adoption was a blur.

Until one day..... a good friend and I were discussing "affording" kids. People always say they can't afford kids. She and I discussed how people really can afford more but their standard of living had to change. It would mess their money up or their time. It would be so much more trouble. So, they just don't.

I felt, in my soul, God ordained that conversation. He wanted me to see the desire for another child was overshadowed by things that will one day fade away. It was an amazing thing God was doing in my heart at that moment. I'll never forget that conversation.

I texted Greg

Me :"I think we should adopt."
Greg: "Ok"
Me: "I'm serious"
Greg: "Ok"

isn't that funny? Who talks about something that big through texting and their husband immediately says ok? Two people, who years earlier, had a desire placed in their heart. To lots of people it seems sudden and maybe like we "fly by the seat of our pants" but God has been dealing with us so long that we didn't waste any time getting started.

I wanted to give you a little history because had we not had issues with our pregnancies I think we would have continued to allow the desire of adoption to fade..... I didn't understand the things we dealt with but I know, for sure, God's plan is bigger and better than anything I would have chosen for myself.

He's just that good.... to use pain to bring you to a place of understanding. It's hard to go through but standing on the other side I wouldn't trade it for all the riches of this world!!

Until my next post I want to say, God has a way of working. We look at time and think things are too slow or they happen too fast but if you allow God control in your life He will always show up and work things out in His perfect time.

Is He worth waiting on?

Everlasting God, Chris Tomlin

Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord
We will wait upon the Lord

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

Our God, You reign forever
Our hope, our Strong Deliverer
You are the everlasting God
The everlasting God
You do not faint
You won't grow weary

You're the defender of the weak
You comfort those in need
You lift us up on wings like eagles