Experiencing God

I've been wrestling with this post for a few days now. I really don't have all my thoughts or words together but I feel so strongly about writing something.... I don't think I'll ever have the right words so if I waited on those then this would never get posted.

Have you ever experienced God in such an overwhelming way that everything else in life is put into it's place....even if it's only for a moment? Where every priority is exactly where it belongs and your heart's desire is to please The One and Only, Jesus, and nothing else seems to matter?

I haven't until recently. It was quit an awakening in my soul. One that's very indescribable. Words won't do it justice and if there are words then my simple mind doesn't know them.

Have you ever heard someone talking about such an encounter or awakening?

I have and to be honest I sat there and judged them and wondered if they were sincere or just trying to be holier than me.

Yep, I'm sometimes a judger. I try not to be sometimes my thoughts will just wonder where other peoples motives are. It is no right of mine. I shouldn't be concerned with someone else's motives. Mine are the only ones I can figure out or ask God to show me. I really have enough mess in my own heart anyway to take up all my time wondering about someone else.

But I still wondered.....God's working on me with that.

But recently God has given my lots of Ah-ha moments and I've finally realized it is possible to really experience God in such a way and just because I never have before didn't mean it wasn't possible.

In fact, as I look back and think about my judgmental thoughts towards others it was always when I wasn't dealing with my own sin. I wasn't in God's Word and in prayer like I should. I wasn't seeking out for God to purify my own heart but wanted Him to purify others. Pretty hypocritical right?

But for some time now, and I didn't realize for just how long until I read back through my prayer journal, I've been begging God to change me, shape me, mold me into the person He created me to be. To search my heart and reveal anything in my heart that is preventing me a deeper relationship with Him.

Psalm 139:23-24 says, "Search me, oh God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

It got pretty ugly. It still is very ugly.

And what's even more ironic is God has been placing things in my life that help me face my sin and help me deal with exactly what I've been asking. Like the Summer Bible study I started last week and reading the book, "Anything" by Jennie Allen. It's full of ways we hide our sin and put on such a good front for others. And the sermon yesterday in church by a guest speaker. I love how God has a way of affirming things in my life. He's more than amazing!!

But I want to be real. I want to live out my faith regardless of what others say or how they judge my relationship with Christ. I want to be like King David in 2 Samuel and dance before the Lord with all my might.

And I really feel in my heart that God has taken me to this level, even though I'm light years away from where I need to be, all because I asked Him. He showed me my need and I asked Him. I'm so thankful He opened my eyes to my need for more of Him and placed within me the desire to ask.

I'm praying my walk with Christ only deepens and strengthens and becomes bolder and shines brighter and never is hindered but my lack of focus or shift in priorities.  I want to be totally in step with Him that my heart will not rest until every displeasing thing is cast out of my soul and filled to the brim of God.

I pray you will experience Christ in such a way and remain there in His presence so others will see Him and want the peace and freedom that flows throughout you!!