Oh What a Battlefield

I've sat down at my computer several times today to type out my heart but deleted and walked away...... it's so easy to delete and think what I want to say is insane....radical and completely "out there" but I keep coming back. So, here I sit, again, trying hard to put the right words that reflect this moment in my life.....

This last month has almost taken me down for the count. I have been on a battle field that I have never been on before. It made me question my sanity...made me lose my focus and clouded my purpose in life. Barely crawling to a safe place I felt wounded and close to defeat. Giving up was within arms reach. But, as I fell to my knees truth settled in my heart. A new strength took over my battered mind and a sound perspective filled my once confused view.

And once again I realize what the meaning of 2 Corinthians 12:10 really means.... when I'm done, when I am nothing, when I cannot go another.single.minute, when I have nothing left in me.... that is when Christ is strengthening me the most.

Doing the work of the Lord IS a battlefield. Spending my days.....day in and day out with these 4 wild, dramatic girls is more than I can handle some days. But, God has me right here in the middle of the craziness for a greater purpose. One that I cannot give up on because of my selfishness, my insecurities or because I am not strong enough....

Every week as I pull out of my church parking lot I read a sign, "You are now entering a mission field." As I return to my home....my mission field, I realize the battle is more real than people realize. More real than I have ever known. The enemy is here....trying to tear me down. He doesn't want me to succeed. He doesn't want my family to succeed. He doesn't my girls to succeed and he doesn't want my foster girls to succeed.

And that makes me furious.

It makes me fight harder. Stand more firm. Pray more fervently and to return to this battle more passionate than ever.

And the joy of the Lord has returned to my soul...

Ephesians 6:10-17
 "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

Stand firm friends!! Jesus is our Victor!!