Who am I

I love social networking. I love keeping up with people who I don't connect with on a regular basis. I love seeing pictures, recipes, fun places and funny posts.

But, I don't like the feeling of inadequacy that comes from seeing other peoples "perfect" lives.

I refuse to give off that impression. I think most people would be so much happier if they allowed others to see who they really are and what struggles they are truly facing.

So, who am I? 

I'm very complicated at times and sometimes I'm not complicated at all.....

Sometimes I do have it together...like maybe one minute out of everyday. But the rest of the time I'm falling apart.

I'm a crazy momma who screams too much, talks too much, doesn't listen enough.... I'm a cryer, a fighter, an over thinker. I second guess almost every decision I make. I'm insecure and have raging feelings of inadequacy on so many levels.

I fail often and rarely meet my personal expectations. I try too hard but sometimes I give up too easily. I mess up. I fall down and fall short of being the best I can.

But, even with all my failures....

I love hard, I belly laugh...at everything. I find humor where there should be none. I breath deep.....get back up and keep moving on. No matter how much I want to give up I will not allow my failures hold me back from fighting through my struggles....they will not define me.

Because all in all, the most important thing about me is I'm the daughter of the King of Kings. I'm chosen and loved and forgiven. I'm loved at my best and loved at my worst. And when I am at my worst and wallowing in my pain and tears I hear in my heart the urging of my Savior to fall at His feet. To lean into His strength. To allow Him to pick me up, dust me off and carry me the rest of the way if need be.

There was a time I wanted my smile to imply a perfect life but not anymore. I never want other women to think they are less than they should be. I never want them to think they are left out or missing out on what everyone else has because the truth is we all struggle and we are all trying to find our way. We all need someone to wipe our tears and pull us up at one time or another.

If you are struggling, just know, God is there to light your path. Lean into Him. Surround your self with others who speak life and encouragement into you. You are not less important than anyone else! You are loved and your fight is worth it!

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."