He's Planning My Step

Last night I was awaken many times by one of our little girls crying out. Every time I rolled over or got back in bed the thoughts of those enduring great turmoil and tragedy in Iraq raced in my mind.

I woke up with a heavy heart.

Sometimes things just don't make sense....and people shake their fist at God and wonder where He is. I've been there...wondering how things could go so wrong. I'm not promising I won't be there again. But, today, I just look at a broken world in desperate need of a God who loves us so much that He sacrificed everything to show us just how much He wanted a relationship with us....and we run. We turn our back and get bent out of shape when our prayers and desires aren't answered just like we want.

People. When will we seek Him? When will we realize in His infinite wisdom He actually knows best? That pain and tragedy show us just how much we need Him and just how much we can trust Him to get us through the unthinkable?

Today while reading "Corrie ten Boom" to my girls I was overcome with just how much He loved and protected Corrie. I'm not finished reading it but I know He cared for her every need.

And just before we started to read, Jada was talking to me in the kitchen and her beautiful heart trickled into her words. This is how it went: "Sometimes I feel like God's calling me to a place where sharing Jesus isn't allowed. Sometimes I feel scared....like 20% scared and 80% not. I mean, if something happens then I know I'll still be ok."

Oh.my.word.

My heart burst with joy without her even knowing. And in that moment God spoke to me....This is why I was called to give up my job to stay home. This is why we homeschool. This is why we foster. This is why I talk about the amazing power of Jesus whenever I have the chance. Because He is calling me to something greater than teaching the 1,2,3's and A, B, C's.

He's calling me to nurture hearts that will take His command seriously to "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit" Matthew 28:19. He's calling me to show love and kindness when it's not the easy way. He's calling me to live a life that isn't about me and what I want but a life that will reflect Him in all I do for His Kingdom. For His glory. For my girls to know Him deeper and greater. For my girls to be grounded in Him when persecution comes....cause let's face it, it's going to come.

And many days I feel random and and I feel crazy with 4 girls who talk....and eat, A LOT, who wrestle for my time when my time's spread thin. And on those days where I'm at the end of my rope I need these truths to penetrate deep in my soul...when I want to think about myself instead of others I need to be reminded why God has planned my steps. Psalm 37:23-24 says, "The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him; though he may stumble he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with His hand."  He plans my steps for any reason He sees fit. He plans my steps to share His love. He plans my steps to create in me a heart that reflects Him more than it does myself.

I'm so thankful He's planning my steps in a this broken world.